13 Vash the Stampede – Versaphile.com

Airdate: July 1, 1998
Source: DVD release
Transcribers: Versaphile and TBD

Transcript cleanup and dub transcription TBD

Table of Contents

Summary

Meryl files a report the Bernadelli Insurance Company, recounting the many exploits, misadventures, and lunatic moments of Vash the Stampede. (IMDB)

Raw Sub Transcript

Aren’t you going to shoot me?
Where is your boss?
I was bought…
The man I thought was my father must have been an agent.
l-I don’t know anything else.
You’re way too trusting. I could shoot you in the back.
I also have my finger on the trigger.
Mr. Vash…
Routine report, date: July 20th…
… two days after the incident caused by a man named Monev.
Tension still runs high in the city.
This incident made me realize something all over again.
Contact with the real Vash the Stampede makes me forget his reputation…
… the reason he’s called ‘The Humanoid Typhoon. ‘
Why is it that so much trouble falls into this man’s lap?
Four months ago, we, Meryl Stryfe and Milly Thompson, employees…
… of the Bernardelli Insurance Society main office in December…
… were handed our orders.
Our objective was to come in contact with Vash the Stampede…
… a man wanted for $ $60,000,000,000…
… under suspicion of class-G property damage.
We were then to keep any trouble around him in check…
… as well as bring a quick resolution to trouble that had already started.
Vash? Who are you two?
Are you innocent-looking things after the $ $60,000,000,000 reward?
Not at all.
We’re here on business.
Business?
Well, I didn’t see him myself…
…but they say he left town before dawn.
They say he went east.
Can you tell us what he looks like?
He stands about 12 feel tall and wields a huge weapon.
And he’s supposed to have a Mohawk.
He has tons of henchmen…
…and is the worst kind of womanizer out there.
Ma’am!
A man with a huge weapon and a Mohawk.
That’s him all right!
Having obtained information of someone matching Vash’s description…
… we finally achieved contact with him after 3 months.
What do you want?
P-Pleased to m-meet you!
I’m Meryl Stryfe from the Bernardelli Insurance Society.
I’m Milly Thompson!
Please accept this token of good will!
Smooth, ma’am!
What’re you doing here? You with him?
It was him. He is Vash the Stampede!
That’s way different from how it happened.
A few lies are acceptable in the name of expedience.
Do you want a promotion, Milly?
At first glance, I couldn’t tell it was him.
This was because he didn’t act anything like…
… the legendary gunman he was made out to be.
Stop it!!
Just a drink, bro!
Don’t forsake me!!
Let go! Let go!
All right, all right! Just let go!

Ignore him. All right, all right! Just let go!
Insurance girls!

Ma’am… – What, you’re going?!
How could you be so cold?!
Don’t be so cold, little brother!
He was exasperatingly hopeless, and not only that…

HELP!! He was exasperatingly hopeless, and not only that…
… his incorrigible DonJuanism made him an exasperating idiot.
You can count on me, Mr. Cliff.
I don’t let anyone in my sights get away…
…and my bullets never miss their mark.
Especially if it’s the heart of a beautiful lady.
Bang!
Ma’am!
Just remembering it makes my heart burst a vessel.
Mr. Vash was so funny back then!
He wasn’t funny, he was downright weird!
Not even a genius could tell that goofball was him!
But I thought it was him from the start.
You’re the one who refused to believe it.
Have you finished writing those papers?
Right, ma’am! I’ll keep at it!
He tried to fool us with his perfect portrayal of a good-for-nothing…
… but it was clear to me that was merely his characteristic pose.
I could tell as I watched him resolve every incident he was involved in.
Suicide?
I disapprove of suicide more than anything.
Then the boomerang you get.
What?!
It’s only fun until someone gets hurt!
You!!
Boss!
YEEK!
Damn!
Hey!
Stop that!
You’re a bad shot.
W-Who the hell are you?!
I’m your ace bodyguard.
What are you supposed to be, a hero cowboy?!
Nah, I’m not that great.
Oh, no. You have a flat tire!
You can’t get away in this.
You little…
Ow, ow, ow!
Son of a…
Let go, you…
He’s unbelievable!
Do you know what’ll happen if you do that?!
This gent here is the much-feared Humanoid Typhoon…
…Vash the Stampede!
That’s funny… Pardon me.
I heard he was more handsome.
Are you implyin’ I’m not Vash?!
Want to find out?
He was a superb gunman just as the rumors claimed…
… and every incident he was in was swiftly…
… was swiftly…
He did it so haphazardly, how could I think it was anything but dumb luck?!
Darn it!
Safe!
Still…
Still, it is the unmistakable truth that he solved each incident…
… without the use of his gun. He refuses to harm anyone…
… even citizens who try to kill him for the bounty on his head.
There he is!! In here!
Oh, crap!

There he is! – We found you!
Do you mean me?
Get him!
Not again!!!
Why does this happen to me, Maman?
I haven’t done anything wrong, but everybody always picks on me, Maman!
But now isn’t the time to be bawling in French.
Why does he act the way he does?
I am able to surmise part of the reason…
… from the testimony of Miss Monica Allen of Inepril City.
Your sacrifice can save this city.
So please let us catch you!
Don’t move!
I understand your situation well…
…but…
Please, don’t move!!
Until I see him…
…I…
…have to keep moving!
Please.
Ma’am, who do you suppose Mr. Vash meant by “him”?
And so, he finally took his gun into his hand.
He pulled the trigger for the first time…
… to save the very people who had tried to kill him.
Time’s up! Throw the fear of death into him, Gofsef!
Mommy!!
How could you?!
Aw, you’re doing just fine!
I was hoping you’d ditch the woman and save your own skin!
Mr. Vash isn’t that sort of a person!
So you won’t kill, no matter what?
You’re disgusting!
However, that makes you a hypocrite!
I know at some point you’ve killed those who gave you a hard time.
How do I know?
Because you haven’t yet had your turn to be killed!
The $ $60,000,000,000 reward on your head is proof!
What do you say to that?!
Vash the Stampede!
So you’re finally ready to fight!
Oh, you wanna draw?
You’ve felt it twice already! Even your measly brain can realize…
…that my son’s fist is a force to be reckoned with!
This is your last chance to run! Although, no matter how fast you run…
…the next thing you know, you’ll be in tiny pieces!
Now pay attention, for I am about to lecture you…
…on just how much of a fool you really are!
Using this!
My Human Mincemeat Special Course!
Go help them, quick!
And then die in the most humiliating way!
No way!
He changed its course!
That was great!
He veered off my son’s fist with six bullets!
Not quite.
I have one left. It’s a special one.
What?!
Ma’am, ma’am! He really beat him!! I don’t believe it!!
And he did it with only six bullets!
Suddenly it’s very clear to me…
…why he’s called The Humanoid Typhoon.
It’s him…
He’s the real…
…Vash the Stampede!
That’s right! This man IS…
…Vash the Stampede!
Love & peace!
LOVE & PEACE.
You’re fun to watch, ma’am.
…mille-feuille…
Vash the Stampede…
Every time I observe his actions…
… I am unable to help but sense there is something hidden within him…
… a thing we can’t hope to understand.
But this much is certain:
Everyone who has become involved with him…
… has regained an emotion which was once lost to them.
Daddy!
Daddy, Daddy!
It’s only my shoulder.
This can’t be…
It was you?
It’s like I always say.
Nothing shines like hard-won fame.
From now on, we’ll live without relying on anyone.
Except for each other.
I’m not amazing.
Despite that…
Mr. Vash!
STAY BACK!
Stay away from me.
That’s not him… That’s not the man I know…
Who is that?
Is that the real Vash the Stampede?
The evil $ $60,000,000,000 outlaw with Hell’s Fire burning in his eyes?
You’ll pay… You’ll pay for this!
People are dead.
They’re dead.
So what?!
People are dead!
THEY’RE DEAD!
You killed them!
You die with them!!
Which is the real man?
I don’t understand!
You understand, don’t you? We’re all scared! We can’t sleep at night!
You’re not the only one.
Can’t someone tell him to get out of this hotel?
Tell Vash the Stampede to get out? Are you insane?!
OW!
What happened, Mr. Vash?
Eek!
So those scars are the price you paid…
…for dealing with your opponents without killing them?
It’s not something I really want girls to see.
They’d run away.
No, they…
No, they wouldn’t.
Mr. Vash, what is going on?
You haven’t done anything, yet these things keep happening to you…
…the townspeople look at you with contempt…
Doesn’t that bother you?
Won’t you stop living the way you do?
I can’t.
I can’t do that.
I haven’t buried my past.
How can I live in peace with that hanging over me?
Are you leaving?
Thanks for letting me go like this.
I don’t want you in my city, that’s all.
Don’t thank me…
…just leave.
You’re right.
So you are following him?
Of course. It’s my job.
I see!
Very well! I can’t leave you two alone together, so I shall come along!
Argh! You’re both frank and devious, Milly!
Young lady! Travelling alone in the desert can be very perilous!
If you act now, you can hire your own bodyguard, free of charge…
…what do you say?
Honestly! I only take my eyes off him for an instant!
Wait! Don’t walk away!
Young lady! Young lady?
Vash the Stampede, hm?
If you keep facing forward, you can miss seeing something.
It is a virtue to devote oneself, firmly believing one’s own ideals.
But that doesn’t mean you may belittle the ideals or feelings of others.
Even if you lead such a busy life, you never realize how your parents feel.
That is only self-satisfaction.
It’s all right to stop every now and again.
If you want a moment’s rest.
If you want to feel what other people feel.