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Original Tumblr Post: Goddamn
Goddamn
Well. Pulled out my kindle for a bit of reading on the early commute train yesterday and. It was Vol 10. Did not realize I was on Vol. 10. Goddamn. Opened it back up today and yep it’s still there. Volume 10 is still there.
How am I supposed to function at work after this huh? huh? tell me mr nightow what do you expect me to do
The thing. The thing is. I thought I knew what was coming. Spoilers aside, it’s baked into the narrative. It’s foreshadowed over and again. There’s no version of that world where Wolfwood gets to live. And yet. (and yet!!) Somehow it’s even worse than that. Because it’s not just that he dies, it’s that he’s dying, for a good long portion of it, and Vash knows that and we know it, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
There’s so much more SPACE and TIME than I realized between the panel of Vash clutching Wolfwood’s jacket realizing he doesn’t get to live, and the last panels of them on the couch.
And the timing, god. Vash has just realized/admitted that Wolfwood is someone he cares about so much, that he’s as close to him as he’d been with Rem and Knives, that he knows him and has allowed himself to be known by him, that he wants to spend his tomorrows with him, and. And. Vash knows those tomorrows are limited. He knows this. But it’s almost in the same breath that he realizes just how limited.
And that we realize this is it. This is the end for him. That it’s too soon but it doesn’t matter because this is it.
That there are no tomorrows left for them. Not even one.
Fuck.
It just couldn’t go any other way and I knew this, I knew Wolfwood needed to sacrifice his life to try to save Livio because that’s the natural conclusion of his character arc, having come to understand why Vash believes what he does. I knew only Wolfwood’s death would bring Vash to the place he needed to be in his own arc. I know it’s important for the narrative. It is the narrative, in large part.
But it’s also just so emotionally brutal, the way it ends up playing out.
Anyway yeah I’m processing.
Suppose this is coincidentally good timing for the whole @trigunbookclub thing I’ve been lurking around for weeks? 🙂 Did not plan it this way but hey, if we’re gonna be sad, let’s be sad together?
#started 98 to cope lol #emotional whiplash going from couch scene to vash skittering like a comic cockroach and stuffing his face with donuts #as much as I’m complaining I really do love the angst tho #brutal and tragic and doomed is kinda my jam #love being emotionally wrecked by a bunch of ink on paper #yes I know 98 gets sad too I’m just trying to stagger the emotional wreckage ðŸ˜