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Original Tumblr Post: Trimax Vol 9 Ch 4-6
Trimax Vol 9 Ch 4-6
Honest to god, I don’t think I’m going to survive next week considering what the last half of this volume did to me, especially the last chapter. I’m an emotional pile of goo right now. But here are some thoughts, and more reasons Nicholas D. Wolfwood makes me wanna cry.
- The chapter with death in the title is number 4 again…stop with the symbolism Nightow, I can’t take it.
- The fact that Livio doesn’t even need the vials to regenerate fucks me up for one very specific reason: what did they do to him to make him that way? I mean, what barbaric fucked up shit did they do to a little kid to put him into that body and turn him into a literally unkillable man? What they did to Wolfwood is horrific, but what they must have done to Livio is worse.
- There’s something about the way Nightow draws Wolfwood when he’s spitting blood and covered in it that makes it at once horrifying but so hard to look away from. It’s just so dynamic.
- Wolfwood just keeps getting hit! He’s barely keeping up with Livio. He had the advantage of surprise earlier when he first shot Livio, but not anymore. Also, Livio is fighting to kill, unlike Wolfwood. He doesn’t have to be careful or pull his punches.
- But Wolfwood isn’t stopping, despite the frankly ridiculous amount of bullets he’s been hit with. This is the first time we’ve seen him be so determined to do something. He’s not giving up, not for anything, and there’s no doubt in his mind about what he’s doing.
- I suddenly can’t help comparing this to the first time we saw Wolfwood in a fight, back when he was battling Ninelives. He was absolutely feral and unhinged during that fight and dealing with so much internal doubt about what he was doing. But now…when he has a clear mission, Wolfwood is just as cold and focused with purpose as Vash.
- I mean, it’s certainly still pretty reckless with the way he fired that rocket when they were so close together but there’s a lot more intentionality to it is what I’m getting at.
- Oh my god, the way he embraces Livio when he shoots him. This is his only way of showing love and mercy right now. He’s pinning him in place for the shot, but also begging for him to live through it. So much love in such an act of violence.
- YEAH GET FUCKED CHAPEL. WOLFWOOD IS A SMART FIGHTER!!! He doesn’t just rely on brute strength. He’s calculating and quick on his feet and he didn’t get any of that from you!!!!
- Chapel gave that little boy a weapon that is bigger than him, a literal cross to bear. I also might be mushing different canons but it fucks me up that it’s specifically the gun that is called Punisher. So when Wolfwood is called Punisher or Nicholas the Punisher, he is literally being called a weapon and a tool, having his agency taken away from him. When he is Punisher, he is a weapon of the Eye of Michael, theirs to wield as they see fit. At times, he forgets he was ever a boy named Nicholas.
- Chapel truly made his own enemy by taking on Wolfwood as his disciple. One way or another, there would’ve come a day where Wolfwood’s better nature would win out over Chapel’s indoctrination. It’s just that with the way this world works, it happened this way.
- Oh, those creepy dudes with the crosses on their backs who’ve been watching this whole thing are back and now they’re coming for Wolfwood. But not on Chapel’s orders?
- Livio is somehow up again except the body language is so different. It’s much more open and bombastic, as opposed to the reserved, resigned way Livio carries himself. Big props to Nightow for how he portrays the differences between Livio and Razlo because it makes this whole section so chilling.
- I love how immediately Wolfwood sees that it’s not his brother. It might be the same body, but it doesn’t move the way he knows him too. Despite how long they’ve been apart, Wolfwood still knows him so well.
- Absolutely insane how he has a third arm hidden under that jacket so that he can use three massive Punishers. It’s cool but also scary as fuck. Peak character design right here.
- Ok, I don’t know a whole lot about DID, but the way the Eye’s doctors describe it seems pretty accurate from what I’ve read about it. Which like, big props to Nightow because when this was being written, I’m not sure there were a lot of positive or correct portrayals of it out there so the man did his research.
- Also, it really puts that earlier scene where Livio is crying about how he misses his parents into a new perspective. He was severely, severely abused by them and he still misses them. Is it because he doesn’t remember because Razlo always took over in those moments? Or is it more complicated than that? It also seems like Razlo killed his parents and Livio probably doesn’t remember that.
- But now it also makes sense why Razlo is the way he is. All he’s ever experienced is the abuse. He’s never been around for the good moments, the times when people showed Livio kindness, so it makes sense his philosophy would revolve around brutality and nihilism. If people are gonna hurt you anyway, why not hit back as hard as you can? Who does being good even matter if everyone you encounter is evil?
- I’m gonna keep harping on this, but I love the way Nightow shows the separation between Livio and Razlo. When it’s Livio, the right side of his face is exposed, but the left is covered by a skull mask. It’s like a representation of his other half, the killer and the death omen. When Razlo is in charge, the mask is gone and the left eye is wild and wide open, while the right is obscured by his hair, like Livio is hiding behind it, refusing to acknowledge what’s happening. It’s the scared little kid hiding behind his dark shadow again.
- Wolfwood is having a very bad time right now and things aren’t looking good, at all. Livio was a good fighter, but Wolfwood could outsmart him. Razlo is literally so strong, so fast, and so powerful, that Wolfwood can’t keep up. He’s just being thrown around like a rag doll.
- “Even in a fight to the death, you still gave thought to your opponent.” Me, sobbing on the ground: WOLFWOOD STILL CARES. HE CARES SO MUCH. HE LEARNED FROM VASH AND HE DOESN’T WANNA KILL HIS BROTHER, EVEN THOUGH RAZLO IS ALSO A PART OF HIM.
- Somehow, someway, Wolfwood sees a path to redemption for Livio. He isn’t going to give up on him again. He failed him once as a child. Now, he’s older and he won’t let that happen again. That’s why he won’t kill him.
- Cue incomprehensible sobbing noises. Wolfwood himself once believed he couldn’t hold the ideals of an immortal, that human life was just misery and killing, because that’s the way it had to be. And despite how much Vash scared him at times, Wolfwood couldn’t help seeing something beautiful in his ideals. Some small kernel of hope, to be more than a demon or a devil.
- Wolfwood gives himself this moment to be overcome by the beauty of Vash and everything he believes in, and everything he now believes in himself. It’s such a pure expression of love and devotion. Like, look at him, he’s on his knees.
- What Vash believes in isn’t easy, but that’s the point. Doing the good thing is hard. Sacrificing to do the good thing is hard. But also, Wolfwood realizes that sometimes, to do the good thing, to do the hard thing, without killing in the process, you have to put yourself on the line.
- Wolfwood has always feared death. Above all, he wanted to live. Vash taught him that he has a choice about who he wants to be, yes. But the reckless way Vash has conducted himself has also taught him giving up his life is worth it for what he believes in.
- It’s heart-wrenching, because this is the moment that Wolfwood truly and fully embraces Vash’s ideals and becomes the person he wants to be. But it’s also the moment he decides that he’s going to die for this. He’s going to die to save his home, and the last lines of this chapter, white against a white background really seal in his decision.
- Any other time he’d been on the verge of death, he’d probably heard that iron bell tolling. I imagine it was a funeral bell, telling him that his end is near. He knows he should hear it now, but he doesn’t. Because the threat of his impending death doesn’t matter anymore. It doesn’t scare him. He will die, and he’s okay with that.
- Okay, I’m gonna go curl up in a ball and cry now. I’m not gonna survive reading volume 10 next week.