When My Fist Clenches, Crack It Open - Chapter 40 - versaphile - Legion (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
“I felt him. I didn’t know who he was, not at first, and then—” Her mind wasn’t clear, not until the virus lost control of her after the monk’s death. “I was angry that he was there.”
“He entered your mind without permission,” Ptonomy agrees. “He entered my mind and Melanie’s mind without permission. He did it to protect us, but it was still a violation because we couldn’t consent to it. We didn’t give him or Cary consent to know our core desires, to enter our minds and change them. They were trying to help, but that help hurt us.”
It did. And that made her angry. She remembers sitting in the gallery when he approached her, and she was so angry with him for daring to enter her mind, for daring to think he knew who she was and what she wanted.
When My Fist Clenches, Crack It Open - Chapter 39 - versaphile - Legion (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
“You’re supposed to be the one who never gives up.”
“I never gave up on David. Fake David doesn’t deserve me. Only David deserves me and he’s gone.” Damn it. Dvd isn’t in their body, but his throat is getting tight. Fuck the shit beetle for doing this to him, to all of them. Fuck the shit beetle for killing David. And fuck himself for thinking there was any hope of getting him back.
Dvd’s been doing exactly what the monster wants him to do. He’s been torturing himself with hope, with memories. That’s what’s happening to Fake David, too. Maybe Fake David has the right idea and they should all stop remembering forever. The monster never let him forget, but maybe he should, now that he can. Remembering hurts so much and he remembers everything.
Divad sighs. “This is why we need David’s friends. Even if we made him leave right from the desert, he still would have been— He didn’t have us for so long. Farouk took away his memories and stuffed him full of delusions. We couldn’t protect him before and we can’t protect him now.”
Legion Lithium 2018
A fantastic new Legion fanvid by @luminosity (AO3 link) Season 1 only.
When My Fist Clenches, Crack It Open - Chapter 38 - versaphile - Legion (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
The lab is quiet and his mind is quieter. His mind is so quiet: no powers, no voices, he doesn’t even hear his alters. It’s awe-inspiringly quiet. He tries not to think about anything so he doesn’t disturb it. He listens to the sound of Syd’s pencil and it’s just as soothing as it always was.
He’s almost drifted off again when the scratching stops.
“Done,” Syd declares. “Wanna see?”
David opens his eyes. Syd leans forward and put the notebook down on the the coffee table. David picks the magazine from his chest, stretches, then swaps the magazine for the notebook.
Syd’s very good, as always. She’s captured him in detail: He’s slumped in the beanbag, dozing, the crown on his head and the magazine across his front. His face is— tired, vulnerable. He looks like he needs a dozen more naps. Is that what he looks like? It must be. Syd always saw him clearer than he saw himself.
When My Fist Clenches, Crack It Open - Chapter 37 - versaphile - Legion (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Ptonomy stands on the sidewalk and feels the sun on his skin. He listens to the sounds of passing cars, of people walking and talking. There are pigeons pecking at the cracks in the sidewalk, looking for crumbs of dropped food. He never really appreciated pigeons until this very moment. He thought of them as rats with wings, but they’re actually beautiful, their feathers iridescent like butterflies.
And he’s not even going to remember it, not the way he used to. His perfect memory died along with his body. A few weeks ago, he was trapped in a maze where he dreamed of eternal forgetfulness. He didn’t actually remember it, but he looked at Cary’s memory of it and remembers it through that. In Cary’s memory, he looks perfectly at peace.
The reality is– Disconcerting. He’s able to use the mainframe’s memory to record the memories he doesn’t want to lose, but he has to make the effort. He has to remember to remember, where before it took no effort at all to remember everything.