My mood currently.
in case anyone is interested, i just made an incorrect legion fx account on twitter where i post crack quotes etc. xox
i think a lot about how i love the way fx’s legion presents and deals with mental illness. there’s a scene where aubrey plaza baddie living in david’s hea has her stranglehold grip on david tighter than ever and in this scene she just walks through his brain, through all the rooms that make up his memories, his childhood memories and his adult ones, the things that are important to him visually represented by literal rooms – and aubrey plaza dances through those rooms, she waltzes through the visual manifestation of his brain and she trashes it. rips up the pillows and defaces the walls and goes through his brain like a storm doing whatever she wants to and with it, while david is locked up screaming in some corner of his own mind where he can’t move.
i think a lot about that and how i’ve spent a very long time feeling like i was fundamentally broken like, as a person. and how i’m slowly discovering that all this time it’s been that thing, this whole mix of messed-up chemical imbalances and genetic tendencies and whatever else contributed to all that up there, running around in my brain and through all those rooms, tossing pillows and scraping its nails down the walls while sometimes i’m trapped and can’t do anything about it.
so i think a lot a lot a LOT about how much i love legion’s answer to this – that knowing what’s actually going on doesn’t mean you can instantly get rid of it, or that it isn’t going to keep kicking your ass. it just means that once you know the real problem you can find much better solutions to this. and that you’ll need other people to do it.
me for 3 years straight: “sorry i haven’t been myself lately”