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LIFE ON MARS

The Annotated Martian: EPISODE FOUR

Prologue | The Station | The Warren | The Hippies | The Pub
The Bedsit | Ruth | The Money | Joni | Dinner | LSD | The Photos
Not Bent | The Canal | The Freezer | The Arrest | Gone | Song Lyrics

A view of empty streets on a sunny day

RUTH (VO)
Sam? Sam? Can you hear me? It's Mum. Sam? Sammie?

Now SAM appears, wandering through the streets, looking a little lost.

SAM
Mum?

A ginger cat licks its lips.

SAM
Ivanhoe.

RUTH (VO)
Sammie?

We see a blue door with a 23 on it, half open.

CUT TO-
SAM jerks awake in his bedsit.

SAM
Mum!

CUT TO-
The empty streets again, this time for real. SAM comes around a corner and sees a little girl in a doorway.

Sam's birthday is probably late 1969. His memory of Vic arriving on his 4th birthday (Episode 6) is prior to March 1973.

SAM
Hello. Do you know a little boy who lives round here? Sam Tyler. He'd be about four years old.

GIRL
I'm not meant to talk to strange men. Are you a strange man?

SAM
I think I probably am, yeah.

Her mum is leaning on a wall a few yards away. Now she notices her daughter.

MUM
Jane! Come here!

The girl skips over.

SAM
Excuse me. I'm just looking for a-

But they're already walking away. SAM hears a grunt and turns around to see a man apparently beating another one, grabbing him by the collar and throwing him against a car.

SAM
Can I help you?

EDWARDS
Help yourself, mate, is what you can do. Keep on walking.

SAM holds out his badge.

SAM
I'm a police officer.

EDWARDS
Good for you! He's been a bit of a greedy boy and I'm just reminding him of the rules.

SAM
Did you hear what I said? I said I'm a police officer.

EDWARDS turns his attention to SAM.

EDWARDS
I'm working here, now run along!

His prisoner makes a run for it. EDWARDS chases him, and SAM chases both.

EDWARDS
Bugger!

SAM
Oi!

Brainstorm by Hawkwind plays.

(instrumental only)
Full Song Lyrics

CUT TO-
A field of dry grass. EDWARDS gets his man on the ground and SAM jumps on top of both of them, pulling EDWARDS away.

EDWARDS
What the hell do you think you're doing?!

Sam's version is the result of the Criminal Justice Act of 1994. The original caution was "You have the right to remain silent, but anything you do say will be taken down and may be used in evidence against you."
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
I'm arresting you for assault. You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence, if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court.

He cuffs the still-struggling EDWARDS

VICTIM
That's not how it goes!

EDWARDS
Big mistake, copper!

Brainstorm by Hawkwind fades out as the title sequence begins.

TITLES

SAM drags his prisoner and the assault victim into the station.

EDWARDS
Alright love? New, is he?

SAM
Shut up.

VICTIM
I want it written down that I had nothing to do with it!

EDWARDS leers at Annie, who looks away.

PHYLLIS
What's the charge?

SAM
Assaulting this man.

VICTIM
No he didn't! We were just wrestling.

SAM looks baffled.

SAM
And resisting arrest.

EDWARDS
Shall you tell him, darling, or shall I?

PHYLLIS glares at him.

PHYLLIS
Number three's empty.

SAM drags his prisoner away.

CUT TO-
CHRIS handing out slips of paper from a glass.

CHRIS
What you got then?

Crisp was an Australian horse and the favorite for the 1973 Grand National. He was far ahead at first but lost steam in the second half, and was overtaken by Red Rum.
Source: Times Online

RAY
Crisp.

CHRIS
Bastard. He's drawn the favourite.

The horses have symbolic value. Ray, like Crisp, was the favorite who lost his place to a challenger. Proud Percy, Sam's horse, is shot, foreshadowing Joni's death. Gene gets Red Rum, the horse who upset the race--Sam.

RAY chuckles, kisses the slip and pockets it. SAM comes in.

CHRIS
There you go boss.

SAM takes a slip, holds it out in front of him.

Proud Percy won the Midlands Grand National in 1972, with trainer Arthur Stephenson.
Source: Uttoxeter Racecource

SAM
"Proud Percy"

He holds out his hands in "what does that mean" gesture.

The Grand National is the premier national hunt handicap horse race in the United Kingdom. It is the biggest betting race in the United Kingdom, and is usually held on a Saturday in early April at the Aintree Racecourse near Liverpool.
Source: Wikipedia

CHRIS
Sweepstake for the Grand National.

GENE comes in behind them, tucking in his shirt as he does. He has a newspaper under his arm.

Bog roll: Toilet paper.
Source: Wikipedia

Loo: Toilet.
Source: Wikipedia

GENE
Can somebody put some bog roll in the loo? I've just had to wipe my arse on Francis Lee.


He takes a slip.

Francis Lee was a professional footballer, who played in the 1960s and 1970s, including 27 appearances for the England national team. Lee played for Bolton Wanderers, Manchester City, and Derby County and has been described as barrel-chested, well built and short-tempered. He is known as "The Bog Roll King" due to his toilet roll manufacturing business.
Source: Wikipedia

Red Rum was a racehorse who achieved an unmatched historic treble when he won the Grand National in 1973, 1974 and 1977.
Source: Wikipedia, Grand National

GENE
Red Rum.

He holds the slip between his teeth and carries on tucking his shirt in.

CHRIS
Never heard of him.

SAM
I'll swap you Red Rum for Proud Percy.

GENE
Why?

SAM wiggles a finger in front of his face.

Redrum is the word "murder" spelled backwards. It was used in The Shining by Stephen King and in both of the films based on the book.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
Redrum, Redrum.

They stare at him as if he's crazy.

SAM (attempting to explain)
I just like his name.

He holds out "Proud Percy".

GENE (suspicious)
You got inside information?

They're interrupted by Ray, holding out a phone.

RAY
Guv? Charlie Edwards.

GENE
What about him?

RAY
Some prat just arrested him.

GENE turns to look accusingly at SAM.

CUT TO-
GENE coming of the office, putting his jacket on as he goes.

SAM
Who is this Charlie Edwards?

GENE
An unpleasant little scrotum what we in the business call a "necessary evil".

SAM
I don't get it.

Greater Manchester Police is split into a number of geographical divisions, each corresponding to a metropolitan borough of Greater Manchester (except for Manchester itself which has 3 divisions), which provide local patrols and investigate crime. A Division covers North Manchester.
Source: Wikipedia

GENE
I don't know what it's like in Hyde, but in A Division, we have a system of checks and balances. It works very nicely, thank you, until some dill from the suburbs starts waving his willy around.

Hyde is a town in Southern Manchester. Sam's "previous" posting was there at C Division.

Dill: Idiot. Australian slang.
Source: Great Aussie Slang

Checks and Balances refers to a system of government with competing sovereigns (such as a multi-branch government or a federal system), "checks" refers to the ability, right, and responsibility of each power to monitor the activities of the other(s); "balances" refers to the ability of each entity to use its authority to limit the powers of the others, whether in general scope or in particular cases.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
Checks and balances.

GENE
Edwards works for a local businessman, Stephen Warren. Mr Warren enjoys cordial relations with the police.

Bent: Criminal, corrupt. E.g."You can usually buy your freedom; the cops are bent and paid poorly." [Early 1900s]
Source: A Dictionary of Slang

SAM
He's bent.

GENE
Bent as a fish-hook! But he keeps his streets spotlessly clean, no burglaries, no sex crimes and he always lets us know if any unsavoury characters arrive in the city.

SAM
And what do we do in return?

Right-hand man: a person relied upon heavily by another. The term comes from the importance and superiority placed on the right over the left by many civilizations.
Source: Wikipedia

GENE
For a start, we don't arrest his right-hand man, okay?

CUT TO-
The front desk. PHYLLIS is emptying a box of possessions to EDWARDS as SAM and GENE come in.

EDWARDS
Mr Hunt. No need to apologise. It was just an honest mistake.

SAM
What's going on?

PHYLLIS
The assault charge against Mr Edwards has been dropped.

SAM
What about resisting arrest?

GENE
That's been dropped too.

The "free passes" are for The Warren, Stephen Warren's club.

EDWARDS
I've left some free passes for the boys and girls, Mr Hunt, just to show there's no hard feelings.

SAM
Hang on! He's my detainee, I say when he gets released.

GENE
Shut it.

SAM stares at him in disbelief.

GENE
Right, on your way, and don't push it.

EDWARDS
'course, Mr Hunt. See you again, hero.

He leaves and PHYLLIS also disappears. GENE regards SAM thoughtfully.

GENE
What are you doing tonight?

SAM isn't listening.

SAM
I can't believe what I've just seen.

GENE
Right, cancel it. You're having a drink with me.

CUT TO-
GENE and SAM getting out of the car in a dark alleyway.

SAM
You said a quiet little pub.

GENE
Did I.

A driver comes along.

DRIVER
Evening Mr Hunt.

GENE tosses him the car keys.

GENE
Don't scratch it.

They walk across the road.

SAM
This is Warren's place, isn't it?

Now we see two-foot high blue neon lights above the place, declaring "The Warren".

There's no flies on you: you're quick-witted or astute. Clearly said with sarcasm here.

GENE
There's no flies on you, are there?

SAM
What're we doing here?

GENE
Furthering your education so you don't start a war.

SAM
I don't want anything to do with it.

GENE
You are to do with it.

He pulls SAM inside.

GENE
You don't throw stones in my pond.

Jean Genie by David Bowie plays. The title of the 1972 song is a pun on the name of the homosexual author Jean Genet, referenced in lines like "sits like a man/but smiles like a reptile". At the time, the press was speculating as to whether Bowie was gay or not.
Source: Wikipedia

The jean genie lives on his back
The jean genie loves chimney stacks
He’s outrageous, he screams and he bawls
Jean genie let yourself go!
Sits like a man but he smiles like a reptile
She love him, she love him but just for a short while
She’ll scratch in the sand, won’t let go his hand
He says he’s a beautician and sells you nutrition
And keeps all your dead hair for making up underwear
Poor little greenie, woh ho
The jean genie lives on his back
The jean genie loves chimney stacks
He’s outrageous, he screams and he bawls
Jean genie let yourself go oh
He’s so simple minded he can’t drive his module
He bites on the neon and sleeps in the capsule
Loves to be loved, loves to be loved
Woh ho
Woh ho

Full Song Lyrics

Inside the club, Jean Genie is playing loudly.

SAM
I've seen where this sort of thing leads.

GENE
And now we have to apologise. I say "we" but I mean "you".

SAM
No chance! I've got nothing to apologise for!

He stops and looks around him. Seventies-style dancing and girls in bikini tops on podiums.

CHRIS
Hey boss! Over here!

CHRIS and RAY are both dancing. SAM's eyes slide from them to one of the dancing girls. He looks more lost than usual and completely out of place.

ANNIE
Hello!

ANNIE appears at his side.

ANNIE
Didn't think this'd be your scene!

SAM
Do you come here often?

ANNIE
Only when we get in free on the guest list.

SAM puts a hand on her back and goes to escort her into the crowds. He's stopped by a bellow from behind.

GENE
Oi! Sam!

SAM ignores him.

Ivanhoe is a novel by Sir Walter Scott. It was written in 1819 and set in 12th century England. It is the story of one of the remaining Saxon noble families, at a time when the nobility was overwhelmingly Norman. It follows the protagonist, Wilfred of Ivanhoe—a son of a Saxon family out of favor with his father due to his unsuitable courting of a Saxon Princess named Rowena and his allegiance to the Norman king Richard I of England—as he comes back from the Crusades.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
I need to talk to you about something. A much-loved orange cat called Ivanhoe.

Somehow, GENE is now in front of them and they're following him up some stairs. GENE turns and looks at ANNIE.

Slag: a derogatory slang term used in the United Kingdom, Ireland and Australia to describe a woman of loose morals who engages in casual sex and promiscuous behaviour, or a weak and pathetic male. Derived from the term as used for the ugly piles (slag heaps) of impurities during the smelting of metals.
Source: Wikipedia

VIP: Very important person.
Source: Wikipedia

GENE
VIP lounge, love. I don't think that includes off-duty slags with glitter in their hair, do you?

SAM glances sympathetically at ANNIE, but follows GENE, leaving her to shake her head.

CUT TO-
SAM and GENE at the top of the stairs, making their way through more people. SAM stops and stares.

Bobby Charlton was an English professional football player who won a World Cup medal and the European Footballer of the Year award in 1966. He played almost all of his club football at Manchester United, where he became renowned for his attacking instincts from midfield and his ferocious long-range shot.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
Bobby Charlton.

Earlier Gene used Francis Lee instead of bog roll.

GENE
Yeah, and Francis Lee.

Denis Law was Scottish football player, who enjoyed a long and successful career as a striker from the 1950s to the 1970s. Law is best known for the eleven years that he spent at United, where he scored 236 goals in 409 appearances and was nicknamed The King and The Lawman by supporters.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
Denis Law?

GENE
Half a million pounds wouldn't buy you that lot.

SAM catches sight of a young man with a lot of curly hair.

SAM
Oh my God.

GENE
What?

SAM puts a hand on GENE's shoulder as the bigger man leans closer to hear what SAM's saying.

Marc Bolan was a singer and songwriter for the band Tyrannosaurus Rex (later called T. Rex), from 1967 until his death in a car crash in 1977. He is credited by many as having invented glam rock. Bolan died on September 16th 1977, two weeks before his 30th birthday. He was a passenger in a purple Mini 1275 GT driven by his wife Gloria as they headed home from a restaurant. The car collided with a tree after spinning out of control in Queen's Ride Barnes Common, London.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
Marc Bolan.

GENE
Who?

SAM
Lead singer with T. Rex.

GENE
Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll go and tell Warren we're here.

He walks off, leaving SAM to stare at the great man, talking to some girls.

“If God were to appear in my room, obviously I would be in awe, but I don’t think I would be humble. I might cry, but I think he would dig me like crazy.”
Marc Bolan, 1972
Source: Marc Bolan Info Page

MARC BOLAN
If God were to appear in my room, obviously I'd be in awe, but I don't think I'd be humble.

SAM
Excuse me, Mr Bolan?

MARC BOLAN
What happened to your hair, man?

The girls giggle. Slightly taken aback, SAM manages to grin.

SAM
Er..I... I just wanted to say I'm a big fan.

GENE
Sam!

SAM starts to walk off, but can't resist ducking back for one last word.

The Mini is a small car that was produced by the British Motor Corporation (BMC) and its successors from 1959 to 2000. The most popular British-made car of all time, it was considered an icon of the 1960s and its space-saving front-wheel-drive layout influenced a generation of car-makers.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
Listen. Drive carefully, okay? Especially in Minis.

He gives MARC a significant look, which he doesn't understand at all, then goes to join GENE, still grinning.

GENE
What?

SAM
Nothing.

Get down off your high horse: to stop talking as if you were better or more clever than other people.
Source: Cambridge Dictionary of Idioms

GENE
Now listen, don't say anything stupid to Warren. Remember, he keeps a lid on a lot of crap that goes on in this city, so you can get down off your high Hyde horse.

Gene does love his Westerns.

GENE goes to open the door.

SAM
I'm still not apologising.

GENE propels SAM inside.

CUT TO-
Inside the VIP lounge. The music is muted in here. WARREN pours out glasses of whisky.

Caped crusader: A vigilante; one who takes or advocates the taking of law enforcement into one's own hands. Originated as a reference to Batman.
Source: Wikipedia

WARREN
So, you're the caped crusader, Mr Tyler.

SAM
I saw a man assaulting another man. I did my job.

GENE drains his drink.

Where Warren is trying to frame Sam's actions as outside of normal police business, Gene is already defending them as right and proper.

GENE
He's very big on doing his job.

WARREN
Glad to hear it.

He sits down. SAM is the only one left standing, looking defiant. WARREN presses a button under his desk.

WARREN
It was a regrettable incident.

CHARLIE EDWARDS comes in. WARREN looks at him.

WARREN
I believe you have something to say to Detective Inspector Tyler?

EDWARDS
Sorry about earlier, sir. Won't happen again.

WARREN nods at EDWARDS, who leaves, then he offers a box to GENE.

WARREN
Cigar, Mr Hunt.

GENE takes one.

GENE
Ta.

WARREN offers to box to SAM, who shakes his head.

An exploding cigar was a staple of vaudeville slapstick. It may have been a coded proletarian gesture of resistance to the cigar, which with the top hat and tails was the semiotic for "capitalism" in the early 20th century.
Source: Wikipedia

WARREN
Please, Mr Tyler. It won't explode.

GENE takes another and holds it out to SAM, who reluctantly takes it.

WARREN
Now, if you'll forgive us, I just want a quick word with your man here.

The door opens and two girls in little blue dresses come in. One of them is JONI NEWTON.

WARREN
Enjoy yourself.

Looking suspicious, SAM allows himself to be led out by the two girls. GENE watches.

GENE
Be right with you. Keep mine warm.

Jean Genie by David Bowie continues to play.

Aoo jean genie lives on his back
The jean genie loves chimney stacks
And he’s outrageous, he screams and he bawls
The jean genie let yourself go! go
Go
Jean genie lives on his back
Jean genie loves chimney stacks
And he’s outrageous, he screams and he bawls
Jean genie let yourself go woh go
Go go
Full Song Lyrics

CUT TO-
The dancefloor. SAM is bouncing around happily enough, paired with JONI. GENE is doing some weird arm-waving dancing behind him. SAM glances at him over his shoulder. A little way away, ANNIE is dancing on her own.

SAM
So you work for Warren, yeah?

JONI
Don't we all.

ANNIE, now dancing with another girl, glances at SAM, then decides to ignore him. JONI moves away and SAM follows.

The Manchester Ship Canal (MSC), affectionately known by locals as The Big Ditch, was opened on 21 May 1894, and is a large canal in North West England. It runs from the north side of the Wirral Peninsula at Eastham, where Eastham Locks open out into the River Mersey, for 36 miles (57 km) eastwards to link the city of Manchester to the Irish Sea.
Source: Wikipedia

CUT TO-
GENE and SAM walking along the side of the canal, under a high bridge in the middle of the night.

SAM
What we doing here?

GENE
But of business to sort out.

SAM
What sort of business?

Dodgy: dishonest.
Source: Cambridge Dictionary

GENE
Some dodgy hippies have been fencing stolen electrical goods.

Hippies is a term originally used to describe some of the rebellious youth of the 1960s and 1970s. Though not a cohesive cultural movement with manifestos and leaders, some hippies expressed their desire for change with communal or nomadic lifestyles, by renouncing corporate influence, consumerism and the Vietnam War, by embracing aspects of non-Judeo-Christian religious cultures (including much Eastern philosophy), and with criticism of Western middle class values.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
And that's a job for CID, is it?

GENE
You can stay here if you want.

SAM stops.

Cross-Eyed Mary by Jethro Tull plays.

(instrumental only)
Full Song Lyrics

CUT TO-
GENE banging on a door, while SAM leans against the wall. No one answers, so GENE barges the door open and bursts into a room where Cross-Eyed Mary by Jethro Tull is playing and you can almost smell the opium.

HIPPIE #2
Who the hell are you?

GENE
Is there anything in this world more revolting than a dishonest hippie?

HIPPIE #1
We don't want any trouble, man.

A record is an analogue sound recording medium consisting of a flat disc with an inscribed modulated spiral groove. The recording is played back by rotating the disc at a constant angular velocity with a stylus (needle) placed in the groove, converting the vibrations of the stylus into an electric signal, and sending this signal through an amplifier to loudspeakers.
Source: Wikipedia

GENE takes the record off the player and tosses it out the window. The hippie stands up.

GENE
Do you know what I'd do if I were you? Apart from wash my hair, obviously?

HIPPIE #2
What?

GENE
I'd pack my shitty unironed clothes and be out of this city by daybreak.

SAM picks up a small box, flaps it slightly, then puts it down again.

SAM
I take it you boys have got receipts for these TVs, yeah?

GENE wanders towards him.

SAM
Er, guv...

GENE turns around, just as HIPPIE #3 lunges at him with a bottle which he smashes over his head.

HIPPIE #3
Do it!

HIPPIE #2 starts kicking GENE, but SAM pushes him away.

HIPPIE #2
Stick him! Stick the pig! Stick it, Royston!

The hippies turn on SAM, knocking him back several times. SAM leaps forward and punches HIPPIE #3, then as the hippie goes down, waves his fist in agony before quickly pointing to the two still sitting down.

SAM
Stay there!

CUT TO-
GENE and SAM carrying a TV into NELSON's pub.

GENE
It's a horrible concept, innit, huge psychotic hippies fencing stolen tellies.

They deposit the TV on the bar.

SAM
This is nothing to do with me.

GENE
Oh, stop being such a girl. Think of it as a tax on bad people.

NELSON points at the TV cluttering up his bar.

Mon brave: French for "my brave man."

NELSON
What is that, mon brave?

GENE sighs and glances at SAM.

GENE
It's a television.

NELSON
In a pub?

GENE
Yeah, ask the boy wonder here.

SAM
It's nothing to do with me.

GENE
Oi, tell him what you told me.

Watching the sport in pubs is ubiquitous in 2006--to the dismay of many.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
Well, I could make some brackets and we could put it on the wall... and watch the sport.

NELSON
In a pub?

SAM nods. This concept is obviously completely alien to NELSON

Save someone's bacon: to save someone from failure or difficulties.
Source: Cambridge Dictionary of Idioms

GENE
Right, large whisky for the short-haired man who saved my bacon.

Making bacon is slang for having sex. Chris actually meant to say saving bacon or bringing bacon (to do something successfully)... or the homoerotic male bonding just bumped up another notch.
Source: Wikipedia

CHRIS
You're making bacon? Well done, boss.

This finally gets a smile out of SAM. He feels in his pocket and produces a roll of notes. Stares at it. GENE chuckles, puts his hand over SAM's and the notes.

GENE
That should keep Warren off our backs for a while.

SAM
Hang on. We just... we just did that for Warren?

GENE
Umm... he brought their existence to our attention, let's say.

SAM
Why's he give this to me? I didn't do anything.

Money for old rope: Easily attained profit or reward. A nautical phrase: older rope would be sold to shoreside traders and this money for old rope shared out amongst the crew as a bonus.
Source: Dictionary of Slang

Innit: Short for "isn't it."
Source: Urban Dictionary

GENE
Money for old rope then, innit?

SAM
I don't want anything to do with this.

GENE
It's too late, pal, you took the cigar. Now, get the drinks in and grow up.

He takes a note out of the roll and hands it to NELSON. SAM picks up the less-neatly-rolled paper.

CUT TO-
It's later. The pub is empty. NELSON is stacking the chairs on the tables. SAM is sitting at the bar, looking thoroughly miserable, staring at the tainted money.

SAM
I've always despised bent cops.

NELSON
What did you have to do for it? That's the question.

When he's with SAM, he speaks without his Jamaican accent.

SAM
Danced with a pretty girl. Smoked a cigar.

The Watergate Scandal (1972–1974) was an American political scandal and constitutional crisis that led to the resignation of President Richard Nixon.
Source: Wikipedia

NELSON
It's hardly Watergate, my friend.

SAM
I'm losing it, Nelson. I'm forgetting who I am in all this madness.

He drops his head into his arms, then looks up slightly, tears glistening in his eyes.

SAM
I just want to go home.

NELSON
Me too, Sam. Close the door on your way out.

SAM finishes his drink, then roughly picks up the money.

CUT TO-
SAM's bedsit. The TV is on, as usual. There is a presenter with a sort of sock puppet on the screen.

PRESENTER
Come on children. Who wants to sing with Mister Socky?

MISTER SOCKY
Everyone wants to sing with Mister Socky! And we will sing. Harris! Julia! Let's all sing.

SAM sits down on the end of his bed and stares at the roll of money.

MISTER SOCKY
Wendy? Henry? Sam?

Then its voice changes, to SAM's mum, RUTH's.

RUTH
Sam?

SAM looks up.

RUTH
What have they done to my beautiful boy?

SAM
Mum?

RUTH
Can you her me? Can you hear what I'm saying?

SAM comes and crouches in front of the TV, one hand on the screen.

RUTH
Sam... don't leave us.

SAM
Mum?

The screen pulls back to the presenter. The puppet falls silent. SAM is struggling not to cry.

"Any old iron" was the call of rag-and-bone men, or junk collectors. They would go house-to-house to pick up unwanted rubbish and junk.
Source: Wentworth Guardian

CUT TO-
SAM down the alley between houses, in daylight. A man walks past, pushing a barrow of scrap metal and calling "Old iron, old iron!"

SAM
Alfie.

He smiles, then spots the ginger cat on a doorstep.

SAM
Ivanhoe!

The cat gets up and walks away.

SAM
Ivanhoe! It's me, Sammie.

The cat squeezes in through the part-open door of Number 23. SAM wanders over and stands in front of the door. He reaches up to the bell. His fingers hover in front of it for a moment, before he lets his hand drop again. Then, with determination, he rings the bell. A pretty blonde woman comes to the door. This is his mother, as she looked when he was four.

RUTH
Yes?

SAM takes an involuntary step backwards and just stares.

RUTH
Can I help you?

SAM holds out his badge.

Sam is using Marc Bolan's name as an alias. Interestingly enough, Marc Bolan once used the name Tyler as an alias.
Source: Marc Bolan Info Page

SAM
Detective Inspector... Bolan.

He puts the badge away.

SAM
Er... there's been a spate of burglaries in the area and...we're making door-to-door enquiries.

RUTH
Burglaries? I didn't think we had any here.

SAM just stares at her.

RUTH
Would you like to come in?

SAM goes inside and shuts the door behind him.

RUTH
You'll have to forgive me. I was just doing the washing-up.

SAM
Not at all, Mrs Tyler.

RUTH
Um... would you like to go through?

SAM
Thanks.

Action Man was an action figure originally produced and sold in the United Kingdom by Palitoy Ltd of Coalville, Leicestershire from 1966 until 1984. The figure was originally based on the United States G.I. Joe figure but with a British military theme.
Source: Wikipedia

He goes into the living room, while RUTH vanishes, presumably to the kitchen. SAM looks around. Spots an Action Man doll, picks it up and looks at it. RUTH reappears.

RUTH
How did you know our name?

SAM
It... it's all in the records.

RUTH
Oh. Real life detective in the house. My son would be very impressed.

SAM smiles and puts the doll down.

SAM
Is he at school?

Mumps or epidemic parotitis is a viral disease. It was a common childhood disease before MMR immunization. Symptoms of mumps tend to be mild, such as painful swelling of the salivary glands and testicles, rash and fever. The disease is generally self-limiting, and there is no specific treatment apart from controlling the symptoms with painkillers.
Source: Wikipedia

RUTH
He's upstairs, in his room. Mumps.

SAM looks upward, apparently trying to stare through the ceiling.

RUTH
I'm really surprised about burglaries. We move around a lot and this is the safest place we've ever been. Have you got time for a cup of tea?

SAM
Yeah.

CUT TO-
RUTH sitting on the sofa, drinking tea.

SAM
What does your husband do, Mrs Tyler?

RUTH
He's a salesman. And a not very good one at the moment, so, um, if anyone does try and burgle us, they'll be very disappointed.

Ivanhoe comes in, comes to SAM, lets him stroke him.

RUTH
That's funny. He normally only likes me and Sammie.

The cat departs.

RUTH
I wonder if I should wake Sam up? He'll be really disappointed to have missed you.

SAM
No, don't wake him up.

Sam has wanted to be a policeman since he was very young, which explains his earnestness and idealism. There are some interesting parallels between this and Reg in Episode Six, who shared his idealism but soured on it when he failed to gain recognition. Another point is what inspired his love of policing. Ruth has strong morals, where Vic is at the very least unreliable and in debt from gambling

RUTH
He wants to be a policeman one day. So he says.

SAM
He will be.

The door opens. RUTH puts her tea aside.

SAM
Your husband?

She stands up, as a balding man with a grey beard comes in.

RUTH
Mr Carroway, I'd really prefer it if you didn't just let yourself in. My husband's away on business, and as soon as he gets back, I'll make sure-

SAM stands up.

SAM
Is there a problem, Mrs Tyler?

While the cat's away, the mouse will play. Carroway is implying that Ruth is having an affair while Vic is away.
Source: Using English

CARROWAY
The mouse do play, I see.

RUTH
Mr Carroway, this is Detective Inspector Bolan. Look, as soon as my husband gets back, he'll pay you this month's rent.

CARROWAY
Not to mention the two months before that.

Section 81 of the Housing Act of 1996:
A landlord may not, in relation to premises let as a dwelling, exercise a right of re-entry or forfeiture for failure to pay a service charge.
Source: Office of Public Sector Info

SAM
You know, there's a law against landlords letting themselves in to tenanted property.

CARROWAY
No there's not.

SAM
You can leave now, Mr Carroway, or we can discuss this further down the station.

CARROWAY
I answer to Mr Warren.

SAM
Yeah?

SAM takes the landlord by the lapels and removes him from the house.

CARROWAY
He won't like it, he won't like it at all! I'll be back to get your money later, Mrs Tyler, when your friend has gone.

SAM returns to the living room to find RUTH crying.

SAM
Hey. Hey, hey...

RUTH
I'm sorry.

He puts an arm around her shoulders, sits her down and then sits down beside her.

SAM
How much do you owe?

RUTH
Lots.

SAM thinks, then takes the roll of notes from his pocket. He takes the elastic band off.

RUTH
What're you doing?

SAM
I won some money on.... cards.

RUTH (shaking her head)
I don't even know you. Why would I take money from you?

SAM
It doesn't matter. It's only money.

RUTH
There's no such thing as "only". Put your money away.

SAM sighs, and tries another tactic.

Red Rum wins the 1973 Grand National, of course.

SAM
Look, there's a horse running in the Grand National. Red Rum. Put your housekeeping money on him. I promise you, you won't be disappointed.

RUTH
Put my family's last pennies on a horse? You know, you should meet my husband one day. You'd get along well. I think you should go now.

Without a word, SAM gets up. He stops at the door.

SAM
I don't want anything from you. Not in the way you think.

RUTH
Goodbye, Detective Inspector.

CUT TO-
SAM walking through WARREN's club. It's day, and therefore empty. SAM bursts into the VIP lounge, where WARREN is preparing rolls of money.

WARREN
Mr Tyler.

He stands up.

WARREN
What a pleasure. Take a seat.

SAM holds up the roll of notes, then slams it onto the desk.

WARREN
What's this?

SAM
It's yours.

WARREN
Really? Where did you find it?

SAM
In my pocket!

WARREN
Can't be mine then. Must be yours.

SAM
If you try and bribe a police officer again, I will arrest you.

A sharpener: Warren is offering Sam a drink, but he's also warning him to sharpen up and back down.

WARREN
To early for a sharpener, Mr Tyler?

SAM
I don't know what kind of deals you might have with other officers, but you have no deal with me.

WARREN
Is that so?

SAM
And I'm gonna go out of my way to make life as difficult for you as possible.

WARREN
You're new here, son, so I'll let that pass.

SAM rolls his eyes.

In Westerns, the good guys wear white hats, and the bad guys black hats.
Source: Wikipedia

WARREN
Others have tried to wear the white hat, and all have failed.

SAM
I just caught one of your... landlords, harrassing one of your tenants. Don't ever let me see that again.

WARREN presses the button under his desk.

WARREN
What's his name? I'll see that he's dealt with.

SAM is frustrated.

SAM
The easy days are over. I'll be watching you.

WARREN
So you say, Mr Tyler.

JONI comes in.

WARREN
Show the detective inspector out.

SAM turns to look at her, then back to WARREN.

SAM
I'll find my own way out.

WARREN
What a clever boy.

SAM turns and walks away.

WARREN
Not too clever for your own good, I hope.

SAM stops.

SAM
LIke I said, I'll be watching you.

CUT TO-
The canteen. ANNIE and SAM are sharing a table. ANNIE has a fork in her food, but she's looking intently at SAM.

ANNIE
You met your mother?

SAM
I know how it sounds.

ANNIE lays her fork down.

SAM
You don't believe me, do you?

ANNIE laughs.

ANNIE
You look tired.

SAM
What do you know about Warren? Annie?

ANNIE tips her head to the side and produces a folded newspaper.

ANNIE
Why don't we... go to the flicks or something? You can pay.

SAM leans back, folding his arms.

SAM
What's on?

Mean Streets was directed by Martin Scorsese, and stars Robert DeNiro. A small-time hood struggles to succeed on the "mean streets" of Little Italy.
Source: IMDb

Carry On Girls was directed by Gerald Thomas and stars Sid James. Local councillor Sidney Fiddler persuades the Mayor to help improve the image of their rundown seaside town by holding a beauty contest.
Source: IMDb

ANNIE
Something called... "Mean Streets", or "Carry On Girls". What?

SAM grins. ANNIE giggles. PHYLLIS comes up behind them.

PHYLLIS
How's the corned beef hash?

SAM
It's a triumph, as ever.

PHYLLIS
There's a girl in the cells asking after you.

SAM
Who is it?

PHYLLIS
Says her name's Joni Newton.

SAM
What's it about?

Woolworths, sometimes known informally as "Woolies," are a chain of general merchandise stores. They are unrelated to the American Woolworth's chain of discount stores.
Source: Wikipedia

PHYLLIS
She put a brick through a Woolworths' front window.

CID: Criminal Investigation Department
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
It's hardly CID, that, is it?

ANNIE laughs.

PHYLLIS
She won't speak to anyone else but you.

CUT TO-
JONI in the Lost & Found room.

JONI
I'm frightened. I'm really frightened.

SAM
Frightened of who?

JONI
Stephen Warren.

SAM
Why're you frightened of him?

JONI
Says he going to kill me. But before he does, he says he's gonna...

SAM
I need evidence, Joni. I can't do anything without evidence.

JONI
No. No way.

SAM
Help me nail him. I can't do anything about a threat.

JONI
I'll come back when I'm dead then, shall I?

SAM sighs and looks at her.

SAM
Why haven't you told any of the other officers about this?

JONI
Because they would've told Warren and that would have been the end of me.

SAM
What are you implying?

JONI
That everyone in this station is bent, that's what I'm implying.

DCI: Detective Chief Inspector
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
I'll have to talk to my DCI.

He stands up.

JONI
No! No. This place is infested. You know it is.

SAM sits down again and looks very closely at her.

SAM
What do you want me to do?

JONI
I'm not safe at my place. I'm not safe anywhere in Manchester. Just let me stay with you tonight.

SAM laughs slightly.

SAM
I'll put you in one of the cells overnight. You'll be safe there.

A tear rolls down JONI's cheek.

SAM
I *can't* take you home with me. You've been arrested for criminal damage. I'm a police officer.

Liverpool is a city and metropolitan borough in Northwest England, located west of Manchester.
Source: Wikipedia

JONI
Then behave like one. I've come to you 'cause I'm in trouble. If you let me out of here, I'm dead. A friend is coming from Liverpool to pick me up in the morning, and then you'll never see me again. I promise.

SAM's wavering.

JONI
I've got no one else to turn to. Please. Please help me.

SAM
Put your coat on.

CUT TO-
The outside stairs. SAM is sneaking JONI out with her fluffy hood up over her head. They meet RAY coming up the stairs. RAY's elbow catches on JONI's.

RAY
Oi! Watch yourself-

He stops.

RAY
Hello, Joni.

He pulls back the hood.

RAY
What you doing here?

SAM
She's a friend of mine.

RAY
That right? She's a friend of a lot of people.

He reaches out to touch her face. JONI slaps his hand away.

JONI
Not of yours, scumbag.

RAY
Does Warren know you're out?

SAM and JONI depart.

RAY
Hey, don't forget to wash your hands afterwards, *sir*.

Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones plays.

Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away
Full Song Lyrics

CUT TO-
SAM's bedsit. SAM is busy cooking. JONI appears, drying her hair. Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones plays softly in the background.

JONI
What you doing?

SAM
Cooking.

JONI
What's that?

Mangos are a popular tropical fruit originating in northeast India, north western Myanmar and Bangladesh. The flesh of a mango is peachlike and juicy, and surrounds a large pit.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
It's a mango.

JONI
And that thing?

The jalapeño is a small to medium-sized chile pepper that is prized for the hot, burning sensation that it produces in the mouth when eaten.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
That thing... is a jalapeño chili.

JONI
Isn't it easier just to open a can of baked beans?

SAM
No.

He hands her a bottle.

SAM
Here. Open some wine. Shut up.

JONI
Wine. You're not your normal copper, are you?

SAM decides not to answer that.

SAM
What time's your friend getting here?

JONI
Five in the morning. We'll be gone before you're even awake.

CUT TO-
SAM and JONI at the table, eating SAM's meal, each with a glass of red wine.

JONI
Mmm. Chicken and fruit. I wouldn't've believed it could taste so good.

Monterrey is the capital city of the Mexican state of Nuevo León.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
Mexican dish. A chef in Monterrey gave me that recipe.

JONI
Where's Monterrey?

SAM (duh)
Mexico.

The 1970 Football World Cup was held in Mexico, from May 31 to June 21. The last quarter-final, a rematch of the 1966 final between England and West Germany, was one of the great moments of World Cup history.
Source: Wikipedia

JONI
You've actually been to Mexico? Were you there for the World Cup? (singing) Back home, they'll be thinking about-

SAM
Tell me about Warren.

JONI's eyes narrow for a moment, then she looks down at her plate.

Back Home was a hit by the 1970 England World Cup Squad.

Back home,
they'll be thinking about us
when we are far away.
Back home,
they'll be really behind us
in every game we play.
Full Song Lyrics

JONI
I've only been working at the club a few months. He was really nice when I first started.

SAM
What makes a girl like you want to work for a fellow like that?

JONI
Money. Same as the rest of the world.

SAM
Go on.

JONI
I knew some of the girls did favours for him. He'd ask them to entertain important people he wanted to impress.

SAM
What sort of people?

JONI
Politicians. Businessmen.

She looks up at SAM.

JONI
Coppers. And then one day, he asked me if I'd go out to dinner with some old French bloke he wanted to do business with.

SAM
And what did you say?

JONI
I said no.

SAM
And what did he think about that?

The Galloping Gourmet is the cooking show for personality Graham Kerr. It ran from 1968 to 1971; Kerr was known for drinking large quantities of wine while on-air. Official website.
Source: Wikipedia

JONI
This is delicious. Galloping gourmet.

SAM
Joni...

JONI
I said no again. And then he got this bloke, Edwards, into the office.

SAM
Yeah, I've met Edwards.

JONI
Then you'll know he's disgusting. Like a disgusting dog. He pushed me over the desk, and held my hands down. They were laughing. And then Warren lifted up my skirt. I couldn't see him, but I could... feel his breath on the back of my neck.

She's pretty much crying by now.

JONI
He said if I didn't do it, they'd take it in turns with me, and chuck me in the canal when they were done.

SAM
It's just... words, Joni. You know, men like that, they like to hear the sound of their own voice.

JONI
There was this girl who came to work at the club, Yvonne. I liked her. She was nice to me. She said she wanted to leave, and when she told Warren, he went mad. Said she couldn't.

SAM
What happened to her?

JONI
They found her dead in the gutter. Hit and run, the police said.

SAM
What, and you think he had her killed?

JONI
I don't think. I know. Everyone knew. Help me, Sam.

CUT TO-
SAM locks the door and turns off the light. He goes over to the window and looks out between the curtains.

SAM
If the phone goes, don't answer it. If the door goes, don't open it.

He leaves the window. It looks very light outside.

SAM
I'll wake you early. Get you and your friend to Liverpool.

JONI
Thank you, Sam.

She's lying in his bed. SAM has made a bed for himself on the sofa.

SAM
Goodnight.

JONI
Sam?

He looks at her.

JONI
Have you got a girlfriend?

SAM
I used to have.

JONI
Where is she?

SAM
A long long way away.

JONI
In Mexico?

In Episode 1, Neil told Sam that Maya had been rescued safely. However, Neil was revealed to be lying. Sam has never heard Maya's voice, despite hearing doctors and his mother talking to him.

SAM
Even further than that. She's probably moved on now anyway. At least, I hope she has.

JONI
Do you want to come in with me?

SAM looks at her for a long time. The offer is apparently tempting.

SAM
I'm a police officer. And you're in my care.

JONI
Wouldn't bother the others.

SAM
I'm not the others.

He settles down, then lifts his head up again.

SAM
It's a beautiful, wonderful life, Joni. Too beautiful to waste dancing in a rusty cage for a man like that.

JONI
I know. Sam?

SAM fidgets. Not surprising, really, as he seems to be intending to sleep with his head at ninety degrees to his neck.

SAM
Go to sleep.

JONI
I'm sorry for all the trouble.

SAM
Go to sleep.

SAM closes his eyes. Visions start. The sky above the houses, the woods, his mum's echoing voice calling his name, Ivanhoe, the woods, his mum on the doorstep, a bright light washes over him.

RUTH
Can you hear me?

RUTH is standing smiling in his doorway. SAM peers at her.

RUTH
It's Mum. Sam?

SAM
Mum.

RUTH starts fuzzing out.

RUTH
Can he hear me? Can he hear what I'm saying?

JONI
I'm sorry for all the trouble, Sam.

Now everything is disjointed. SAM gets hit by the speeding car. An enormous Ivanhoe looks through the door, then licks his lips. A flash of images. Black and white soldiers, Basil Brush in Hollywood, a war, SAM hides his face. Santa on a flat-screen widescreen shiny black TV, the woods, a naked JONI bouncing on top of him, handcuffs, dancing at the club, handcuffs again, the clubs again, the woods, shoes with huge buckles, SAM on his bed, the test card girl, a glimpse of red in the woods, SAM lying on his back, JONI on top of him, Basil Brush, the test card girl- He hears voices, disjointed and echoey.

TEST CARD GIRL
There's nothing to be ashamed of, Sam. You can't be lonely all the time.

JONI
Sorry for all the trouble, Sam.

GENE
It works very nicely, thank you, til some dill from the suburbs starts waving his willy around. Sam!

SAM on his back, the test card girl, the woods, a glimpse of red, JONI, the test card girl, SAM, the test card girl, RUTH, JONI, GENE, Britney Spears, GENE, Santa, WARREN, SAM, the woods and then suddenly it's over.

CUT TO-
SAM lying naked on his bed. From the camera's perspective we can see his feet sticking up at the other end of the bed. Outside the door, he can hear GENE.

GENE
Sam!

SAM tries to sit up, only to find his wrist are handcuffed to the rail behind his head.

SAM
Shit!

GENE bursts in, then stops short, looking at SAM. SAM stares at the ceiling, humiliated and helpless.

GENE
Morning.

SAM
Piss off.

GENE
WPC Cartwright.. informed me that you weren't answering your phone. He's in here, love.

ANNIE bursts in. She too stops short, stunned, looks at SAM, then quickly walks back out. GENE sighs, but appears amused.

GENE
Well, it's not all golf and badminton in Hyde then, eh?

Lucozade is an energy drink containing glucose syrup and caffeine, initially marketed as an aid to convalescence. For some it was less welcome than the illness. It was sold in glass bottles with a yellow cellophane wrapper.
Source: Wikipedia

CUT TO-
SAM sitting at his desk, pouring Lucozade into a cup with immense concentration. GENE, CHRIS and RAY are sitting on a desk opposite him, having a laugh at his expense.

CHRIS
Had a few calls for you, sir. Told them were all tied up.

They all laugh.

RAY
You did, er.... wash your hands, didn't you?

SAM drinks the Lucozade with a pained look.

GENE
Bad dreams, were they?

SAM
I've had better.

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is a 1967 song recorded by The Beatles for their album, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. As the initials of the title are LSD and the lyrics are psychedelic, some have suggested the song refers to drug use.
Full Song Lyrics; Source: Wikipedia

GENE
Was Lucy there? Did she have her diamond with her?

The others snigger. SAM is clueless.

SAM
What?

LSD is a powerful semisynthetic psychedelic drug. It causes expansion and altered experience of senses, emotions, memories, and awareness for 8 to 14 hours. In addition, LSD usually produces visual effects such as moving geometric patterns, "trails" behind moving objects, and brilliant colors. LSD does not produce hallucinations in the strict sense but instead illusions and vivid daydream-like fantasies, in which ordinary objects and experiences can take on entirely different appearances or meanings.
Source: Wikipedia

GENE
Lysergic acid diethylamide. LSD to you.

CHRIS
Better be careful boss. That stuff lasts for hours.

PHYLLIS comes in behind SAM.

PHYLLIS
Several pairs of handcuffs missing from stores.

RAY laughs.

PHYLLIS
Anyone any ideas?

She leans in close to SAM and turns aggressive.

PHYLLIS
I asked you to look after one of my detainees, sir.

SAM
Phyllis-

PHYLLIS
I don't recall asking you to sneak her out through the back door, take her home and sleep with her.

SAM
It wasn't like that.

The yellow brick road is an element in the novel The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum. It is the path which Dorothy is instructed to follow from Munchkin Country to the Emerald City in order to seek the aid of the Wizard of Oz.
Source: Wikipedia

GENE
Hey, go easy on him, Phyllis. He's just taken a stroll down the yellow brick road!

PHYLLIS
Where is she now? She was arrested for causing criminal damage.

SAM
I don't know.

PHYLLIS walks away.

Pentobarbital (Nembutal) is a barbiturate used for seizures and sedation. Unofficial uses include reduction of intracranial pressure in Reye's syndrome or traumatic brain injury, and induction of coma in cerebral ischemia patients.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM hears hospital noises.

DOCTOR
His brain functions and heart rate are all up.

SAM looks at RAY and CHRIS. The voice seems to be coming from CHRIS.

CHRIS/DOCTOR
Racing.

RAY/DOCTOR
It's what we'd expect from a change of medication to pentobarbitol. Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

"Silver Machine" by Hawkwind plays.

(instrumental only)
Song Lyrics

SAM stares at them. He can also hear loud club music, almost drowning out the others.

GENE
Do you know who she works for?

SAM
What?

GENE
The girl.

The music stops abruptly, dropping SAM back into reality.

GENE
Do you know who she works for?

SAM rubs his eyes and stares from GENE to CHRIS and RAY, and back again.

SAM
Yeah. But that's why she came to see me.

GENE
Don't be a prick, Sam, and don't you go rocking the boat.

SAM
She's terrified of him.

GENE
So what?

SAM
He threatened to rape her and then kill her.

You what?: A request for clarification or repetition; "Say again?"

GENE
Sorry, you what?

SAM
He threatened to rape her and then kill her.

GENE laughs.

SAM
Oh, yeah, I'm glad you find it so amusing. You know, I was the only officer in here who she trusted enough not to hand her over to Warren, so how funny's that?!

GENE
A word. Now.

He pulls SAM up by the arm and manhandles him out of the room. RAY chuckles, enjoying the theatre.

CUT TO-
GENE throws SAM against a wall in Lost & Found. The only light comes from a grill behind SAM.

Assuming he's about the same age as Philip Glenister, Gene joined the force around 1950.

GENE
Don't you bloody dare come the self-righteous prick with me! I've been working these streets since I was nineteen and I'm telling you, they're safer now than they've been in a generation. Now, if you wanna shag the inmates, that's up to you, but don't you dare chuck shit at me and my officers.

SAM
We're not talking about a dodgy telly. We're talking about threats of sexual violence and murder.

GENE
You think you know everything, don't you.

SAM
I know the stench of rotten apples.

GENE
And I know your slag is lying through her teeth, and you wanna know why?

SAM
Why?

GENE
Stephen Warren is a bum-bandit. Do you understand? A poof. A fairy. A queer. A queen. Fudge-packer. Uphill gardener. Fruit-picking sodomite!

SAM
He's gay?

Kipper: A herring or salmon that has been split, salted, and smoked.
Source: Answers.com

Mickey Finn: An alcoholic beverage that is surreptitiously altered to induce diarrhea or stupefy, render unconscious, or otherwise incapacitate the person who drinks it.
Source: Answers.com

GENE
As a bloody Christmas tree! Mind you, he is a little touchy on the subject, being a twisted Catholic with an elderly mother at home, so I wouldn't go mentioning it to him. You challenged his authority, so he stitched like you up like a kipper. Pretty girl appealed to your vanity as the only decent sheriff in Dodge City. Slipped you a mickey, tied you up and bounced on your ding-a-ling.

Dodge City is a western movie starring Errol Flynn and Olivia de Havilland. It chronicles the rise, after the end of the Civil War, of the small frontier post of Dodge City, Kansas to civilized and respectable town and trading place for cattle. In the process, Dodge City has to get rid of the baddies terrorizing the citizens, and it takes a new sheriff and his deputy to clean up the town and introduce law and order.
Source: Wikipedia

My Ding-a-ling was a 1972 novelty hit record by Chuck Berry recorded live at an Arts Festival in Lancaster, England. British morality campaigner Mary Whitehouse tried unsuccessfully to get the song banned.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
Why?

Mary Whitehouse was a British campaigner for the values of morality and decency in which she believed, particularly in broadcast media, and ultimately derived from her religious beliefs.
Source: Wikipedia

GENE
Well, I suspect the answer will lie in the post. Photos, you idiot. So, next time he asks you a little favour, I suggest you do it. Otherwise your pictures will be landing on the desk of the Chief Constable. And he gets a Christmas card from Mary Whitehouse. And believe you me, you'll be out of here in the time it takes to say Red bloody Rum.

It dawns on SAM.

Honeytrap: a trap set to capture, kill or compromise an enemy using sex as the lure.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
She was a honeytrap.

GENE
Bingo.

SAM shakes his head.

GENE (more gently)
You're not the first, and you won't be the last.

He goes to walk away, then turns back.

GENE
Checks and balances, Sam. You can't come into our manor throwing your weight around and expect to get away with it.

CUT TO-
ANNIE in the otherwise empty canteen. SAM comes in and she looks up to see him standing by the door. She ignores him.

SAM
Do you mind if I sit down?

ANNIE looks away, considers.

ANNIE
'Course not, sir.

SAM sits.

SAM
Look, I'm... sorry you had to see what you saw, before.

ANNIE
Don't flatter yourself. There wasn't that much to see.

SAM digests this remark and then sighs.

Mean Streets and Carry On Girls are the films Annie suggested earlier.

SAM
Okay. Mean Streets or... Carry on Girls? You chose, I'll pay.

ANNIE
I don't think so.

SAM
I can explain everything.

ANNIE
You don't have to explain anything to me.

SAM
Annie.

ANNIE
I've decided something.

SAM
What have you decided?

ANNIE
I'm going to be a really good friend to you.

SAM
A friend.

ANNIE
'Cause with the enemies you're making, you could do with all the friends you can get. Look after yourself, Detective Inspector Tyler. Please.

She leans over and kisses him on the cheek, then stands up.

SAM
Annie, please...

ANNIE turns around and smiles at him.

ANNIE
Hey. I got to see you naked. It's not all that bad.

She laughs and leaves.

Gudbuy T'Jane by Slade plays.

I said
Goodbye to Jane, goodbye to Jane
Get a kick from her forties trip boots
Goodbye to Jane, goodbye to Jane, has them made to match up to her
suits
She's a queen can't you see what I mean;
She's a queen
See, (see) see, she's a queen
Full Song Lyrics

CUT TO-
In WARREN's club, JONI and two other girls are practising a dance routine to Gudbuy T'Jane by Slade. SAM comes in, unseen by them and turns the music off. JONI turns around, sees it's SAM and just speaks to the other girls.

JONI
Give us a minute.

She looks at SAM expectantly.

JONI
What do you want?

SAM
You're a real class act, aren't you?

JONI
I do what I have to do.

SAM
Where are the photographs?

JONI
Being developed.

SAM puts on a mocking voice.

SAM
Please help me.

JONI
I'm sorry. I was just doing a job.

SAM
You have a real talent for lying.

JONI
Some of it was true. This is a dangerous place for you, Sam, and you shouldn't be here.

SAM
Are you lying to yourself though? That's the question.

JONI
Think what you want.

SAM turns away, then turns back again.

SAM
You're a loser, Joni. Or whatever your name is. Because you live in fear. And that isn't living at all, is it? Now I don't live in fear. I'm alive.

He leaves, switching the music back on as he goes, leaving JONI speechless.

CUT TO-
As SAM's walking out, he passes a set of stairs. GENE and WARREN are coming down them. SAM watches them.

WARREN
He had it coming to him.

GENE
You do not humiliate my officers.

WARREN
If you can't keep your people in line, I'll do it for you.

GENE
I'm the sheriff, Warren, don't you ever forget it!

WARREN
No, Mr Hunt! You're a bent sheriff! Don't you ever forget that!

CUT TO-
RUTH sweeping outside her house. SAM comes along.

SAM
Mrs Tyler. The money. It must have appeared crass and insensitive to you, and I don't think I am. In fact, I know I'm not.

RUTH
You don't think you're what?

SAM
Crass and insensitive.

RUTH
Oh.

Hot: recently stolen.
Source: Answers.com

SAM
You must have thought it was dodgy. Hot. Wasn't. Well, it was a little bit, but I gave it back. All of it.

RUTH
That's good then.

SAM
I just wanted you to know that I am not a bent copper.

RUTH
Well, now I know.

SAM hears coughing from an upstairs window.

SAM
How is he?

RUTH
He's much better, thank you.

SAM
I'd better be going.

RUTH
Naughty men to arrest.

SAM
That's right.

SAM smiles but doesn't seem keen to leave.

SAM
Goodbye, Mrs Tyler.

RUTH
Goodbye, Inspector Bolan.

SAM turns to walk away.

Treacle tart is a dessert pie made with golden syrup.
Source: BBC

RUTH
Inspector. Um... I'm going to buy him a treacle tart tomorrow. His favourite. For being such a brave boy with the mumps.

SAM
With custard?

Custard is a dish consisting of milk, eggs, flavoring, and sometimes sugar, boiled or baked until set.
Source: Wikipedia

RUTH
With custard.

SAM
Leave the skin on?

RUTH smiles.

RUTH
You'd be very welcome to drop in, if you were passing. He'd um... he'd really like to meet a real life police officer.

SAM
Thanks.

He smiles at her and leaves.

CUT TO-
The pub. A Division are watching the Grand National.

GENE
Come on, Red Rum! Come on, my son!

SAM is reading a newspaper, paying no attention.

NELSON
Are those... brackets, really gonna hold our television?

Do it yourself or DIY refers to the practice of fabricating or repairing things on one's own rather than purchasing them or paying for professional repair. A DIY store in North America is The Home Depot; in the UK, B&Q.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM
'Course they'll hold. I worked in a DIY store in my gap year.

NELSON
Your what year?

SAM
The brackets will hold.

The term gap year (also known as "year out", "deferring", "Overseas Experience") is given to a prolonged period (often, but not always, a year) between a student's completion of secondary school and matriculation in college or university, or also between college and graduate school or a profession.
Source: Wikipedia

NELSON
How were the chilis?

SAM
Good.

He looks up from the newspaper again.

SAM
Strong.

NELSON
Bit too strong, I hear.

GENE steps away from the horse-racing crowd and addresses SAM.

GENE
Anything in the post yet?

SAM
Not yet.

GENE
Probably having to blow it up so they can actually see something, eh?

He laughs and goes back to the TV. RAY and CHRIS laugh too, apparently listening.

RAY
Get on, my son.

NELSON
Mr Tyler, someone out back to see you.

SAM
Who is it?

CUT TO-
NELSON and SAM come out the back door. JONI is there, leaning against a car.

SAM
Delivering the photographs yourself? Very classy.

JONI
There are no photographs. And I've got the negatives.

SAM
You expect me to believe that?

JONI produces the negatives and a lighter. As SAM watches, she burns them.

SAM
Even if it's true, why would you do that?

JONI
Couldn't stop thinking about what you'd said. It is a beautiful life. Least, it should be, anyway. You know, you asked me why I started working for a man like Warren.

SAM
Money, I think you said.

Cash and carry is a form of trade in which goods are sold from a wholesale warehouse operated either on a self-service basis, or on the basis of samples or a combination of the two. Customers settle the invoice on the spot and in cash, and carry the goods away themselves.
Source: Wikipedia

JONI
My mum and dad used to own a successful cash-and-carry business, until Warren decided he wanted it. And then he started saying my dad had fiddled the books and he was going to go to the police. And the police, as you know, are his friends.

SAM
You set me up. I don't believe a word you're saying.

Fiddle: To alter or falsify (accounts, for example) for dishonest gain.
Source: Answers.com

JONI
Yeah you do. My dad's dead. They said cancer, but... Then Warren turned on me mum and me.

SAM
Joni-

JONI
He said if I danced at his club, and was nice to some of his friends-

SAM
If you're spinning me another line-

JONI
Setting you up was my last job. He said if I did that, he'd let me go. But he never will, will he? He was lying to me, and I was lying to myself.

SAM
I can nail him. But I need ammunition from you. Now, are you willing to testify against him?

JONI
Don't stand up to him. He'll have you.

SAM tips his head to the side.

SAM
What will you do?

JONI
Me mum and me're going on a trip. A long way away from people like him.

SAM
Where're you gonna go?

JONI
I dunno. I hear Mexico's nice.

They smile at each other.

CUT TO-
The horse racing. GENE has his arm around CHRIS's neck and they're all shouting at the screen.

GENE
Come on!

Red Rum wins the race. GENE jumps up and down in delight.

GENE
Yes! Red Rum, you beauty!

SAM comes back in.

Becher's Brook is an infamous fence in the Grand National course. It stands a modest 4ft 10in on the take-off side, but the problems come on landing, partly due to the 2ft 'brook' - nowadays filled with a modest 1" of water. More dangerous is the drop on the landing side of nearly 2ft, which has caused some riders to declare it like "stepping off the edge of the world". The drop used to be much more severe on the inside of the track, but in recent years this has been levelled off because of the number of horses injured or killed.
Source: BBC, Wikipedia

CHRIS
Proud Percy fell at Becher's Brook, boss. They had to shoot him.

SAM
Too bad.

CHRIS leans on the bar and cracks his neck.

Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones plays.

I know I've dreamed you a sin and a lie
I have my freedom but I don't have much time
Faith has been broken tears must be cried
Let's do some living after we die
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses we'll ride them some day
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses we'll ride them some day
Full Song Lyrics

CUT TO-
SAM asleep on his bed, fully clothed and lying on his front. There's a knock at the door. A persistant knock. SAM stirs and gets up. Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones plays softly.

SAM
Who is it?

GENE
It's me.

SAM gets up and opens the door. He winces at the light coming in.

SAM (sleepily)
I'm not cuffed to the bed. Sorry to disappoint you.

GENE
Get your coat.

SAM rubs his eyes, still half-asleep.

SAM
What time is it?

GENE
Just get your coat.

SAM gets his jacket and follows GENE.

CUT TO-
The canal. Under a bridge, there are a lot of people gathered. RAY and CHRIS are talking quietly together. SAM and GENE approach. RAY falls quiet. GENE nods to CHRIS, who pulls back a sheet to reveal JONI, dead, white and with her throat cut. No one says anything. SAM walks around the other two and leans on the railing, staring into the dark water.

RAY (quietly, to Chris)
He might as well have slit her throat himself.

GENE glares at him, but says nothing. SAM looks up.

SAM
What did you say?

RAY doesn't answer. SAM stands up straight and leans over RAY's shoulder.

SAM
What did you say?

RAY
Nothing.

SAM
Be a brave boy and tell me what you said.

GENE holds out a hand.

GENE
Come on, Sam, just-

SAM
If he's got something to say, I want to hear it.

GENE turns away.

RAY
If you don't play the game, people get hurt. *You* didn't play the game and *she* payed the price.

GENE looks at them both. SAM doesn't react for a moment, then he grabs RAY by the hair and slams him into the wall. Instantly, CHRIS and GENE are breaking it up, CHRIS pulling SAM away, pinning his arms to his side, GENE holding RAY up against the wall, so he can't do anything about the murderous look in his eyes. SAM struggles against CHRIS, then surrenders.

CUT TO-
SAM and GENE are leaning on a railing outisde a large building. GENE is drinking whisky from the bottle.

Flatfoot: A policeman who patrols a given region, usually on foot.
Source: Answers.com

GENE
First job I ever had in the Force, pounding the streets as a nineteen-year-old flatfoot. I was teamed with this bloke called Harry Althway. Fought on the beaches in Normandy, won a medal. Never talked about it. You know the sort. Breath that could strip the fur off a badger. Never did his paperwork, but he was a legend, was Harry.

The Battle of Normandy was fought in 1944 between the German forces occupying Western Europe and the invading Allied forces as part of the larger conflict of World War II.
Source: Wikipedia

He hands SAM the bottle. SAM examines it before drinking from it.

GENE
And there was this gangster knocking round town in them days. Made a lot of money during the war. Had a lot of coppers and politicians in his pocket.

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Said by French novelist Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr in January 1849.
Source: Wikipedia

SAM (muttering)
"Plus ça change..."

GENE
What?

SAM
Go on.

Odd: Casual, irregular.
Source: Wiktionary

Backhander: A bribe.
Source: Wiktionary

GENE
I found out Harry was taking the odd backhander to look the other way.

SAM
What did you do?

Shop: To report the criminal activities or whereabouts of (a suspect) to the police.
Source: Wiktionary

GENE
I did what any other shiny new kid on the block would do. Shopped him.

SAM glances at GENE.

Squeal: To give sensitve information about someone to a third party; to rat-on someone.
Source: Wiktionary

GENE
Everyone hated me for squealing.

SAM
You did the right thing.

GENE
Harry couldn't handle it. Ended up hanging himself with his own belt. Month later, I took my first backhander.

SAM
How did that make you feel?

GENE
Like shit.

SAM
How does it make you feel now?

GENE
You know, I try not to think about it. Do the best that I can. Try and look after my men and the people in my city.

SAM
But when you do think about it? How does it make you feel?

GENE
Like there's an animal eating away at my insides.

SAM
Fancy doing something about it?

GENE
I thought you'd never ask.

Brainstorm by Hawkwind plays. It's the same section as in the prologue.

(instrumental only)
Full Song Lyrics

CUT TO-
The car making its way to a farm, apparently.

Abattoir: A slaughterhouse; a facility where farm animals are killed and processed into meat products.
Source: Wikipedia

CUT TO-
Inside an abattoir. GENE and SAM are dressed up in coats and hats. CHARLIE EDWARDS is taking off his shirt.

EDWARDS
He'll have you both for this.

A pork pie is a traditional British food. It consists of pork and pork jelly in a hot water crust pastry and is normally eaten cold.
Source: Wikipedia

GENE
My friend is gonna ask you some questions. Personally, I hope you don't answer them, because I want you to die in here and end up inside a pork pie.

SAM
Who killed Joni Newton?

EDWARDS shivers and doesn't answer.

GENE
Trousers.

EDWARDS
Please..

GENE
Don't talk to me! Trousers!

EDWARDS undoes his trousers and lets them drop.

SAM
Who killed Joni Newton?

EDWARDS still doesn't answer. GENE picks up his shirt.

GENE
Right. Leave him in here.

SAM
Are you gonna answer my question?

EDWARDS glowers at him.

SAM
Yeah. Let's go.

He takes hold of the door and is about to pull it shut when EDWARDS bends down to pick up his trousers.

SAM
Ah ah ah. Leave them.

EDWARDS (growls)
I can't tell you, he'll kill me!

GENE
Least it would've been a warm death.

SAM slams the door shut and locks it. EDWARDS muffled protests can just be heard.

EDWARDS
What the hell are you doing? Open the door! You can't go through with this! Let me out!

GENE
How did you know Red Rum was gonna win the National?

EDWARDS
I'm gonna die in here!

SAM
It was just a hunch.

GENE
Huh.

EDWARDS
Let me out, please!

A little bird told me: Something that you say in order to let someone know that you are not going to tell them who gave you the information being discussed.
Source: Cambridge Dictionary of Idioms

GENE
You didn't have any... inside information? Little bird in the racing fraternity?

SAM
I wouldn't do that, would I?

GENE
Well, I didn't think you'd lock a murder suspect in a giant fridge.

SAM
He wouldn't answer my question.

GENE
I've got a feeling he will.

EDWARDS bangs on the door. Both look at it, then turn around again.

EDWARDS
Just let out, please!

SAM
How's that little animal, in your stomach?

GENE
Do you know, I do believe he's sleeping.

EDWARDS
Open! Alright! Alright, I'll talk!

SAM slides the door open. EDWARDS, shivering, glowers at them.

SAM
Who killed Joni Newton?

EDWARDS
She was... she was supposed to be your... honeytrap. When she didn't come through, Warren went ballistic. Slit her throat.

SAM nods grimly at GENE and walks away.

EDWARDS
Then put her in the canal.

SAM comes back and is about to attack EDWARDS.

GENE
Hey, hey, hey! Job to do, Sam, huh?

Blockbuster by The Sweet plays. Released in 1972.

Aah, aah
You better beware, you better take care
You better watch out if you've got long black hair
He'll come from behind, you go out of your mind
You'd better not go, you'd never know what you'll find
Aah, aah
You look in his eyes, don't be surprised
If you don't know what's going on behind his disguise
Full Song Lyrics

CUT TO-
GENE and SAM walking through the club, to the sound of the Sweet's Blockbuster. They go up the stairs.

GENE
Do you like this music?

SAM
Yeah, I do. Don't you?

Roger Whittaker is a British singer/songwriter and musician with worldwide record sales of more than 55 million. His music is of the folk/easy listening genre. In his early career, his trademark was his fantastic whistling ability. He would not have been considered cool in the 70s.
Source: Wikipedia

GENE
Just a lot of noise, really. My and the wife like, uh, Roger Whittaker.

They stop in front of the VIP lounge door.

GENE
Well, not - her more than me. Do you know him?

SAM
Not intimately.

GENE
Keep it to yourself. We all have our guilty little secrets..

SAM
Indeed we do.

GENE bursts into the room. There is moaning. WARREN is kneeling in front of a young man, against a wall.

GENE
I'm not a Catholic myself, Mr Warren, but isn't there something about "Thou shalt not suck off rent boys"?

The two look up startled. The boy flees. WARREN stands up, doing up his trousers.

WARREN
How dare you come in here!

GENE
You could've said that to the boy.

SAM
Stephen Warren, I'm arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Joni Newton.

He tries to handcuff him.

WARREN
You can't touch me, son! I own you.

SAM ignores him and continues arresting him.

SAM
You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention something-

GENE looks away, rolling his eyes.

SAM
-which you may later rely on in court.

GENE
That's not how it goes!

WARREN
One call, and I'm out again. Your life, Mr Hunt, won't be worth living.

GENE
Oh, shut up, Wendy Warren. Get your handbag and let's be having you.

WARREN struggles with SAM

Punters: The paying public, customers.
Source: London Slang

GENE
Hey, hey. Now what would you prefer? Out the front, cuffed, humiliated in front of your punters, or nice and quiet out the back.

WARREN
Out the back.

GENE
That's what I thought.

Blockbuster by The Sweet continues.

Aah, aah, aah, aah
Buster, Buster, Block Buster
Buster, Buster, Block Buster
Buster, Buster, Block Buster
Full Song Lyrics

CUT TO-
SAM and GENE take WARREN down the stairs, through crowds of dancers. One of them tries to stop them, but SAM pushes him gently away.

CUT TO-
The pub. RAY and CHRIS are laughing together, but they stop as GENE and SAM come in. There's silence, broken a round of applause started by CHRIS.

PHYLLIS
Thank you.

SAM glances at GENE. From behind a pillar, ANNIE smiles at SAM. SAM smiles back.

GENE
Well, come on then, get us a drink in.

The national anthem of the United Kingdom is God Save the Queen. The same tune was later used for the American patriotic song My Country, 'Tis of Thee. The anthem was traditionally played at closedown on the BBC and with the introduction of commercial television to the UK this practice was adopted by some ITV regions. BBC Two never played the anthem at closedown, and ITV dropped the practice in the late 1980s, but it continued on BBC One until 8 November 1997, and is still done on BBC Radio 4.
Source: Wikipedia

CUT TO-
A bit later. The National Anthem is playing on the TV. NELSON stands and salutes. The rest of the pub is empty, but for SAM and GENE.

GENE
There's no way you can police a modern city without a bit of give and take.

SAM
Checks and balances.

He shakes his head.

SAM
It can't work like that. Every copper has to be whiter than white or the whole thing falls apart.

GENE shakes his head.

GENE
No, you're living in Cloud Cuckoo Land, Sam.

SAM
Otherwise it spreads like a cancer. A free cut of meat from the butcher at Christmas. You wave the paperwork through for a fella with a funny handshake and then one morning, you wake up, and your whole body's riddled with it and you haven't even noticed.

GENE
You're a cheerful bastard to have a drink with, aren't you? Come on, we're meant to be celebrating.

He turns to look at the TV. SAM finishes his drink and laughs quietly.

GENE
You did well, Sam. Every officer will be walking a little bit taller tomorrow because of you.

They clink glasses.

CUT TO-
SAM in the street ouside his house, carrying a wrapped box in one hand, a bunch of flowers in the other and wearing a tie, for the first and only time. The door of Number 23 is open. He knocks on it, then pushes it open. He goes inside.

SAM
Hello?

The house is deserted. He goes upstairs.

SAM
Hello?

Who is the constable in the photo? Is it he who inspired Sam to want to be a police officer?

In what is presumably his own room, there is a comic lying on the bed. SAM puts down the box and the flowers and walks around the bed. On the floor is a football, amid scattered comics. He picks up the football and notices a broken photo frame. He picks up the photo and looks at it. It's himself, aged four, wearing a police helmet which covers his entire face.

CUT TO-
SAM's bedsit. The photo is on the mantelpiece. SAM is lying on his bed. He closes his eyes and falls asleep.

I Don't Believe In If Anymore by Roger Whittaker.

Oh I don't believe in If anymore
If's an illusion
If's an illusion
No I don't believe in If anymore
If is for children
If is for children
Building daydreams
Full Song Lyrics

Behind him, the TV comes on. Roger Whittaker is on there, singing I Don't Believe In If Anymore. It goes fuzzy and the sock puppet appears, speaking with RUTH's voice.

RUTH
Sleep well, darling. Mum's here. We'll always be here. One day, you'll wake up and I'll still be here. I love you.

The screen fuzzes.

Gene mentions earlier, in Warren's club, how he and the missus enjoy Roger Whittaker.